WWII Was Way Screwier than I Thought

No doubt the Wehrmacht was glad to be relieved of this unpopular task [i.e. the ideological indoctrination of conscripted soldiers], as well as the even more unpopular task of organizing the Werewolf resistance, which the Nazi Party assumed for itself completely.

—Edward A. Shils and Morris Janowitz, "Cohesion and Disintegration in the Wehrmacht in World War II," Public Opinion Quarterly 12.2 (1948): 308.

The Wehrmacht (German army) may have been happy to devolve its counter-werewolf responsibilities to the Party, but in the end Germany lost the war, due in large part to the success of the relentless Allied lycanthropic offensives. Lesson: never surrender the defense of the dark arts to political expediency. When the U.S. Army's Anti-Zombie Corps is purged of Democrats, you'll know the War on Terror is doomed.

Explain This One to Me

From a job listing for "Needham & Company, LLC":

Qualifications

BA/BS in Finance/Economics or Engineering/Physical or Life Sciences. All majors welcome.

Question

Friends, which do you loathe more: the actual events of which life consists, or just the sheer, irreducible feeling of being alive?

Ontology, Part ∞

The CustomizeGoogle extension for Firefox adds an auto-suggest feature to the Google search box, as does, I think, the official Google Toolbar. Generally speaking, this is not very useful. However, when you type "what is," Google guesses the following:

I think that covers all the major questions, don't you?

Later, They Beheaded His Son

From James I's (that is, James VI's) book Basilicon Doron, a treasure trove of helpful advice for any royal heir (boldface added):

And vse most to eate of reasonablie-grosse, and common-meats; aswell for making your bodie strong and durable…as that yee may bee the heartlier receiued by your mean Subjects in their houses…Let all your food bee simple, without composition or sauces; which are more like medecines then meate. The vsing of them was counted amongst the ancient Romanes a filthie vice of delicacie; because they serue onely for pleasing of the taste, and not for satisfying of the necessitie of nature…In the form of your meate-eating, bee neither vnciuill, like a grosse Cynicke; nor affectatlie mignarde, like a daintie dame; but eate in a manlie, round, and honest fashion. It is no wayes comely to dispatch affaires, or to be pensiue at meate: but keepe then an open and cheerefull countenance, causing to reade pleasant histories vnto you, that profite may be mixed with pleasure…

Next followeth to speak of raiment, the on-putting whereof is the ordinarie action that followeth next to sleepe. Be also moderate in your raiment, neither ouer superfluous, like a deboshed waster; nor yet ouer base, like a miserable wretch; nor artificially trimmed and decked, like a Courtizane, nor yet ouer sluggishly clothed, like a countrey clowne…

…let your countenance smell of courage and magnanimitie when ye are at the warres.