Didn't I Say the Reviews Were Incredibly Good?

Via the X-Axis:

ONSLAUGHT REBORN #1 - Well, it's what you'd expect, really. Onslaught returns thanks to M-Day, the all-purpose event that does everything. He immediately sets out after Franklin Richards again, fights the Fantastic Four, and chases him to Counter-Earth. And that's pretty much a thorough synopsis of the whole issue. Rob Liefeld does what we've come to expect from him, while writer Jeph Loeb doesn't so much phone it in as scribble it on the back of a stamp and staple it to a passing carrier pigeon. Utterly awful, but at the same time, it's no worse than you'd expect. Quality isirrelevant to Rob Liefeld comics, in the same way that it's irrelevant to Crazy Frog ringtones. If for some reason you actually want this comic, it will provide you with whatever you were after. I suppose you've got to give it that.

In other news, Young Jeezy blatantly steals one of Cam'ron's jokes on this new-ish song "3 A.M." that Pitchfork reviewed today. Jeezy: "Parked the 430 / Came back in a spaceship (damn)." Apparently 430 = the F430, which is some Ferrari thing, blah blah, I don't understand cars. But Cam already riffed this riff on "It's Nothing": "'cause of cake mix / Ten homes, eight whips [i.e. cars] / But them eight whips I'm 'bout to trade for a spaceship." Q.E.D., rap fans!

UPDATE: Loyal reader Leon N. responds:

Love the blog, Keyhole! But the thing about your post is that the Young Jeezy thing is not even a joke (unless "430" is some kind of spaceship/space reference), while the Cam'ron one is if only by virtue of the whip/ship rhyme. Arguably still not a joke but moreso due to the frequency with which "whips" is used and the infrequency with which it is rhymed with spaceship.

First of all, thanks for the support, Leon! We really value our readers here at Keyhole Central, and it's always nice to get feedback! As for your point about Jeezy and Cam'ron, I think you're mostly right about why Cam's riff seems to be more of a joke than Jeezy's: because it rhymes with something. To be fair, Jeezy's sort of does too, but it's totally irrelevant and not much of a rhyme, so I didn't bother to quote it. Still, I'm not sure that the funny noise sounds (this is what I call a rhyme) really add as much to the humor as we imagine. The joke in both cases is basically: picture a person owning a spaceship and using it for incredibly trivial purposes! In other words, picture NASA. (Ass-a.) Also, note that Jeezy uses his spaceship to complement his luxury car: he drives the latter to the parking lot, switches to the former, and then, I think, goes to the club. (The club is in space. The parking lot is in Cape Canaveral.) Cam'ron, on the other hand, is too poor to operate both a car and a spaceship. He must first accumulate several cars, then trade them in. Apparently he doesn't have enough in the way of liquid assets to complete the transaction any other way. That's something I can relate to personally, and it is this down-to-earth ("Get it? You [bloggers] is slow, man" —Young Jeezy) spirit that makes Cam'ron the rich guy of the common man.