I just furtively popped two VIACTIV® Calcium Soft Chews into my hungry — and effeminate — maw. That’s right — VIACTIV®, The Calcium Women Want™. Shit really hits the spot. Probably less to do with the calcium or the genderbending than the sweet sweet corn syrup — ingredient number one and a real treat after literally hours without industrial sugars in my bloodstream — but I’m trying not to probe too deeply.
This represents something of a disturbing trend in my life, if, as most now agree, two is the new three: I also remember quite enjoying Quaker Instant Oatmeal Nutrition for Women, especially the Vanilla Cinnamon flavor. “A unique combination of nutrients designed to meet a woman’s special needs”? I won’t take this flagrant reverse discrimination sitting down. At least not without bowl and spoon in hand.
Yeah so I have big hooters now. : (
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