La Peste

§1. I Will Be the Greatest Historian in History

"I don't know anything about locks. I'm not sure if anyone has ever cared enough to research them." —Prof. LTU, tacitly admitting that I will revolutionize the study of the past, present, future, and keyhole and that she is powerless to stop me.

§2. The Employers of the World Will Beat a Path to My Door

From my (tentative) résumé:

OTHER INTERESTS: typography, hip-hop, graphic novels, blogging.

§3. Nonetheless, My Prospects Are Grim

At work today, an elderly gentleman handed me a copy of a book entitled A History of Western Music. Given that I work at a music library, and given that my duties include reshelving returned items, this event was not, as such, unusual. But whilst transferring control of History, the man, looking a little disturbed, said something that I couldn't quite make out but which sounded like, "I can recognize the plague from a mile off, and you've got it. I suggest going to the drug store as soon as possible."

The sad thing is that I'll die without ever knowing anything about Western music. I think this fellow was trying to rub it in. He had probably found my résumé somewhere and scoffed when he learned that I was interested not in the West but only in the Other. How could I waste my energies like that? Plague-ridden and feeble, I was living on borrowed time already.